Q. What is the difference between a set of bagpipes and awounded duck?
A. I don’t have awounded duck. I’m convinced that every single reed in my pipes is shot. The dronesare off tune and the chanter keeps letting out these horrific screeches and Ijust can’t play them anymore. Even my practice chanter is terrible out of tune.Now they yearningly lay on my shelf, collecting dust, waiting for a veterinarian.I’ve got a new set of drone reeds coming in the mail, (duck organ donor) but Idon’t know what to do about the chanter reed (voice box implant).
Q. What do you get when you cross a girl, People magazineand Saturday evening?
A. A really bad date. This story is two fold. At the beginning of the week I knew I wanted to go on a date that weekend. The morethe merrier (especially if your RM socially incompetence hasn’t worn off yet)so I decided to make it a double and let my friend in on it. I met him at efy,haven’t talked with him since and four years later we ended up in the sameclass. I spent the week gauging my options so by Friday he had picked someoneout and I needed to act fast. There was a girl in my sociology class who Ithought would be perfect so I resolved to act after class.
Insociety we have what is called symbols. These are objects, signs or evenphrases that have certain emotions or meanings attached to them. Everyone inthe society knows and agrees on the symbol and the emotions attached to it. Forexample a cross is accepted as a symbol of Christianity and defiling a crosscould evoke a strong emotional reaction from some of the population. A wedding ring is also one of those symbols. It indicates a commitment to another person.Unavailability. Closed shop. Now surrounding symbols are folkways which are theunwritten laws of society. You smile when you meet someone for the first time,you don’t pee in elevators, you really oughta tip your waiter, and don’t askout girls who are wearing wedding rings.
Youcan guess how that turned out. Since I burned out with the date my friendgenerously offered to ask his dates roommate to accompany us and I accepted. ThusI once again became third wheel this time to a long unbroken talk about movies,actors, celebrities, movie quotes, gossip… and more! I almost went crazy. Onthe plus side now I know that Tim McGraws wife approves of the women he kisseson screen, Robert Downy Jr. had succumbed to a drug addiction but has made amagnificent comeback starring in such films as Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes, andthe Avengers. Don’t forget about what’s his face in his next movie actuallysinging and playing volleyball on the beach withhis shirt off! I just about wet myself with excitement. Notonly do I not watch a whole lot of movies I haven’t seen a single movie in twoyears asides from documentaries on Joseph Smith and the Atonement and resurrectionof Christ. I gritted my teeth waiting for that one to end vowing the whole timeto not get myself into this situation again.
Q. What is blue and black and stuffed with sand?
A. The guy I beat up at the park the other day. As wellas the juggling balls I prepared for the juggling workshop making its debutthis week. There’s a lot of excitement for this workshop among the activities committeeof the school and they’re helping a lot to get it off the ground (punintended). It stands in stark contrast to the juggling club I attempted tostart at my high school. There was a zero interest level from the student bodyand the teacher adviser didn’t even come to the meetings. This one is lookingup. I actually don’t think I’ll have enough equipment for all the people whoare going to start flocking to this activity. There was an overnight retreat ina cabin in the middle of nowhere of X town Idaho pop 34 for all the peopleinvolved in Talent Activities. That was fun. Got to meet a lot of cool peopleand didn’t feel like a third wheel.
Lastly I’ll share an interesting train of thought thatwas pointed out by my professor this week. In the first books of Moses the Lawof Moses was introduced to the people. This was in preparation for the comingof the Savior and was to be followed strictly and religiously. Fast forward tothe New Testament and the Law of Moses is being followed with an exaggerated fervor.Rules had been added to the Law of Moses to keep anyone from getting even closeto breaking the “core rules”. In the process of doing so the peopleunfortunately missed the point. They were so caught up in following these made up rules theyforgot all about the basics, such as not judging your neighbor, love andcompassionate service just to name a few. The book of Acts speaks of about 3,000Jews who on the day of Pentecost were converted to the Gospel of Jesus Christand were baptized. This is a lot of converts. In fact the majority of theconverts to the church were Jewish by religion, culture and tradition. If youwill reflect your mind back to the Law of Moses established generations andgenerations before, before anyone can even remember, you may realize just howheavily engrained this tradition of the Law of Moses is. The Atonement of JesusChrist fulfilled the Law of Moses so there is no need for these new converts tocontinue practicing the Law. Yet they still did and thought that everyone elsehad to as well. This became one of the most troubling problems that theapostles had to deal with during their service. The Jewish converts insistedthat the gentile converts must begin practicing the Law of Moses once they werebaptized into the church. If you strip this problem down to its roots thequestion becomes does salvation come byworks or by grace? The Jewish converts insisted that only by their works,only by following the Law of Moses could salvation come. The thing is salvationcomes only through the grace given to us by Jesus Christ.
BruceR. McConkie Stated, “We cannot resurrect ourselves anymore than we can createourselves. We cannot create a heavenly abode for the saints, nor make provisionfor the continuation of the family unit in eternity, nor bring salvation andexaltation into being. There neither has been, nor is, nor ever can be any waynor means by which man alone can, or any power he possess, redeem himself.
Thisflawed thought is not only present in the Holy Bible, it was prevalent when theBook of Mormon prophet Abinidai calls King Noah and his people to repentance.
Know ye not that I speak the truth?Yea, ye know that I speak the truth; and you ought to tremble before God.
And itshall come to pass that ye shall be smitten for your iniquities, for ye havesaid that ye teach the law of Moses. And what know ye concerning the law ofMoses? Dothsalvation come by the law of Moses? What say ye?
Following this interchangeAbinidai takes the time to remind them of the most basic part of the Law ofMoses, the 10 commandments.
And it cameto pass that after Abinadi had made an end of these sayings that he said untothem: Have ye taughtthis people that they should observe to do all these things for to keep thesecommandments?
I say untoyou, Nay; for if ye had, the Lord would not have caused me to come forth and toprophesy evil concerning this people.
And now yehave said that salvation cometh by the law of Moses. I say unto you that it isexpedient that ye should keepthe law of Moses as yet; but I say unto you, that the time shall come when itshall nomore be expedient to keep the law of Moses.
Andmoreover, I say unto you, that salvationdoth not come by the lawalone; and were it not for the atonement,which God himself shall make for the sins and iniquities of his people, thatthey must unavoidably perish, notwithstanding the law of Moses.
And now Isay unto you that it was expedient that there should be a law given to thechildren of Israel, yea, even a very strictlaw; for they were a stiffnecked people, quickto do iniquity, and slow to remember the Lord their God;
Thereforethere was a lawgiven them, yea, a law of performances and of ordinances,a law which they were to observestrictly from day to day, to keep them in remembrance of God and their dutytowards him.
The interestingpart comes in when you consider how that applies today.
In and out, untilnext week.
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